Je Suis Fatigué

Its tiring, its tiring to live everyday just looking forward to the next meal, to the next miracle unveiled by the wizards of Techland. And the presence of the lord has given me some solace sometimes, the strength to look beyond this desolate expense of nothingness, to a time of “freedom” from within and without.

I want to get a scholarship, bonded or whatever, because independence from my parents is something I feel I should possess. I know, I got the world handed to me on a platter. But somehow, I just find this plate, this beautiful exquisite plate is one that comes with many conditions on sale. I am not saying I regret it, or feel resentment, I just want to know what it is like to have to depend on something else other than the unconditional love that comes with the package deal. A love that has its attendant responsibilities, and obligations. Ones that have to be fulfilled either way, and yet somehow, knowing that I have options, alternatives is a comfort. One that can soon enough become a crutch if not handled correctly.

Oh why did I make it so difficult.

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