Quarter

So it’s my 25th birthday today. Not any time for me to be pensive because frankly who has time for pensive? The truth is that there are so many reasons why today is a good day for me. I have people around me who love me, friends who tolerate me, a roof over my head, food on my table, and am doing something that is quite enjoyable all things considered. I really am glad to be here today, at my quarter life without much of a crisis. Is there anything that I need to figure out? Yeah, but that can wait while I enjoy some cake.

 

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It is an effect

It is an effect of the long nights you kept,
the wrong thoughts you had,
the strong lives you’ve met,
the weak moments you gave.

It is an effect that gave,
you countless maddening thoughts,
countless sleepless nights,
empty desperate cries,
for help, for love, for loss, for longing.

Those blue skies,
you dreamt of,
since the last time you spoke,
to him,
your tangible thoughts,
your intangible words,
they give little meaning to me.

I know not what I feel,
I know not what I’m writing,
The criticism inevitably will point to lack.
A lack of ingenuity, of creativity, of strength, of character.

It is an effect of living this modern life.

– To You, The Humble Honest Reader, in a vainglorious hope that you shall not rip my piece to shreds.

Je Suis Fatigué

Its tiring, its tiring to live everyday just looking forward to the next meal, to the next miracle unveiled by the wizards of Techland. And the presence of the lord has given me some solace sometimes, the strength to look beyond this desolate expense of nothingness, to a time of “freedom” from within and without.

I want to get a scholarship, bonded or whatever, because independence from my parents is something I feel I should possess. I know, I got the world handed to me on a platter. But somehow, I just find this plate, this beautiful exquisite plate is one that comes with many conditions on sale. I am not saying I regret it, or feel resentment, I just want to know what it is like to have to depend on something else other than the unconditional love that comes with the package deal. A love that has its attendant responsibilities, and obligations. Ones that have to be fulfilled either way, and yet somehow, knowing that I have options, alternatives is a comfort. One that can soon enough become a crutch if not handled correctly.

Oh why did I make it so difficult.

The Hundredth Post

This post, my hundredth post will be a post for milestones. Milestones achieved, and surpassed. Not just personally but for the people around me.

I am almost at the end of my service in the Singapore Civil Defence Force, in fact there is about 229 days left and every single day that I pass in this force reinforces my belief that it can be as good as you choose to make it out to be, or as horrific as you choose to make it out to be. Ultimately it is up to you.

I am 19 turning 20 and I’ve accomplished certain things with my life, but living alone *effectively* for the past couple of years has told me that I am and can be independent, but has also showed me the true value of companionship camaraderie. I treasure my friends, my family and the people around me more for this experience.

I am 1/5th of an elite team of Podcasters, all of whom are warm, friendly, helpful, and yet appreciative of humour, serious when need be, and have shown me confidence, humility, and love for technology, contemporary issues and all my pet peeves.

This day marks the day I won my iPod from Microsoft. Yes. An iPod. From Microsoft. The irony has not escaped me. But is that not my life? Irony after Irony. So much so that sarcasm is my middle name, and periodic cynicism from me is expected.

Sexy Beijing

Taken from Gadling.

This interesting little vodcast-like parody of Sex and the City, though a lot less… Sex, a LOT more city. I think its amazing that the host speaks such great chinese, chinese that I may be hard pressed to muster. And this content actually is quite good. You go GRRL!

See for yourself the first episode.

Somehow

There’s something in the air,
some change’ed quality,
the darkness that pervaded my soul,
now enters into that space,
where the purity of light,
of time, of destiny,
where is the meaning?

Why does she do what she does,
artfully avoiding,
skillfully turning,
gracefully skimming,
I can only deign to guess.

Is it fear?
Is it me?
Is it you?
Is it them?
Is it too much?
Is it too soon?
Is it complicated?
Is it effortless?

Somehow, for someone,
so used to insincerity,
so used to concealment,
so cynical,
so uninterested.
I’ve got my interest back.
I fear the 5 year old,
will reassert himself,
taking away what little
I have.

Somehow, I must say,
that in the end,
ultimately,
these are just words.

Strange New Worlds

As I begin making use of this new blog for announcing to the world strange and new discoveries I have made, I will also hope to provide a fresh and altogether unconventional perspective to you, my dear readers! Yes, we are about to embark on a whole new journey together, one that will be hopefully filled with fun, sun, puns and most importantly, enough dry wit to make a martini.

Now, that the hard part’s over. Time to properly introduce myself. My name is Jerrick Lim Jieq. The Jieq is an embarassment provided by my lovely Father, who I will thank eternally for making my life ever so much more complete. After all who doesn’t need a Q at the back of his name! I do very much like that about my name actually, as the Lao Wais i.e Gui Los, ang mohs, foreigners, will have a hell of a time trying to pronounce my name. Even though it is probably the simplest Chinese name anyone can have. 林杰 is how it is written in mandarin. Lin Jie is the pinyin pronounciation. Why he couldn’t have simply used Lim Jie is beyond me. My name it is, its over and done, lets move on. (I bitch about myself, isn’t that refreshing)

Up until recently, I lived in the fair city of Suzhou, Jiangsu Province, China. Spent two years of the best years of my life, breathing in the fumes of progress, the dust of industrialisation, and did not manage to get any action from the fair ladies of Suzhou! (I apologise to you Gloria in advance, I am wearing my ring, please don’t rape me… well… I’ll put up a token show of resistance) Nevertheless, it was a life changing experience, where I met fascinating people from many different countries. All of whom are and will remain my friends.

Upon moving back to Singapore in early July of this year of 2006, I have discovered a Singapore not much different from the Singapore of 2 and a 1/2 years ago. The people are still friendly, (contrary to what the Reader’s Digest says… We’ll come back to that some other time). The food fantastic, the heat reassuring, the people fascinating. I could go on. There is however one change in my horison. I will shortly be joining the Armed Forces of Singapore(sic) . I will be undergoing mind numbingly dull work, and naturally will be stripped of all my individuality. I say it like its a good thing eh? Of course, you, my dear readers, will provide a suitable outlet. Or at least an avenue for me to have intelligent conversation with the world. So I thank you in advance, patient readers, for you, *sniff sniff* make me who I am…

The choice of name Crossed Destinations is rather simple. For although the title Coffee, Black, is just about a handle for me. (pichu1988, Yes well, let us move past that shall we?) I needed something unique for my blog. It seems rather apt in my opinion. Afterall, I live in a country that is crossed between two worlds, the East and the West, I recently left a country in the process of reasserting its own foothold on the world, trying valiently to fuse Eastern and Western influences, Communist (yes well Technically Communist if you want to nitpick) and Capitalist, Totalitarian and Democratic, etc. It seems to me that my life is frequently about crossings, about 十字路口, so why not make a blog about my adventures through the meandering places that I cross, about the beautiful and the fugly. I think I may even surprise myself in the process, and hopefully, dear reader, I will surprise you.